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"You do not know what spirit you are of..." (Luke 9:55). Yeshua's words imply that each of us has the responsibility to know ourselves (γνῶθι σεαυτόν), and to learn to endure (and overcome) the natural motives and focus of our hearts. We discover the truth of our spiritual condition in the midst of our daily frustrations, as we experience conflict, opposition, and the inner groan that arises from pressure and disappointment. Spiritual growth means learning to transcend our negative reactions, to stop cursing our conflicts, and to awaken to the blessings that surround and pervade our way. God's grace enables us to open our eyes so that we may "choose life and live" (Deut. 30:19).
Our daily struggle with sin reveals the contradiction between the ideals of our faith and the spontaneous reactions of our heart.... We live in between the "is" and the "ought," the real and the ideal (though often we deny one or the other). The impulse to despair, to be angry, to complain and curse our experience can be transformed into an opportunity to pray, to ask God for help, and to refocus on what is real. This is the "hidden blessing" (ברכת סוד) of our troubles. When we learn to surrender to God's Presence, we can breathe in his peace and love, despite the grief we encounter over ourselves and others. When we come to the light, and do not deny the truth about our condition, we can honestly ask the LORD for healing (Heb. 4:16). When we seek for the good - and even bless the struggle - we express our trust that God will use our sorrow to help us grow and to bring beauty from our ashes (2 Cor. 7:10). Hashivenu: "Turn us back to you, O LORD, and we shall be turned..."
הֲשִׁיבֵנוּ יְהוָה אֵלֶיךָ וְנָשׁוּבָה
חַדֵּשׁ יָמֵינוּ כְּקֶדֶם
ha·shee·vei'·noo · Adonai · ei·ley'·kha · ve·nah·shoo'·vah
cha·desh · yah·mei'·noo · ke·ke'·dem
"Turn us back to you, O LORD, and we shall be turned;
renew our days as of old."
(Lam. 5:21)
Hebrew Study Card
Again, our daily struggle with sin reveals the contradiction between the ideals of our faith and the spontaneous reactions of our heart. If we are able to find the courage, our failures and brokenness may be used by God to distill the intentions of the heart by helping us to be more honest with ourselves. We begin to realize that we are more vulnerable than at first we thought; that our faith is not as strong as we imagined, and that our motives are often mixed and unconscious. Illusions are striped away; idols crumble; deeper levels of selfishness are uncovered; the gap between our words and our deeds is exposed... It is one thing, after all, to intellectually think about faith or to idealize spirituality, but it is quite another to walk out faith in darkness. Yet it is only there, in the rawness of heart, that we discover what we really believe and how our faith makes traction with reality...
Keep the flame within your heart burning, friend... A sage once told a person struggling with his faith: "It is written that all creation was brought into being because of people like you. God saw there would be people who would cling to our holy faith, suffering greatly because confusion and doubt would plague them. God perceived that such would overcome these doubts and troubles of heart and remain strong in their belief. It was because of this that God brought forth all creation." Indeed, it was because of this that Yeshua our LORD suffered and died for you... Amen. Therefore never yield to despair, since that leads to further darkness and fear. Press on and keep fighting the "good fight" of faith (1 Tim. 6:12). Remember that you infinitely matter to heaven; your life has great value; you are significant and you are truly loved by our Heavenly Father. There is a "future and a hope" for you; there is "a white stone, and on that stone will be written a new name that no one can understand except the one who receives it" (Rev. 2:17). May "the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perishes, though it be tested with fire, be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation to come" (1 Pet. 1:7).
"I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion (ἐπιτελέω) at the Day of Yeshua the Messiah" (Phil 1:6). The LORD is able to guard you (φυλάξαι) from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy (Jude 1:24). "The LORD upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down" (Psalm 145:14). "He will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the Day of our Yeshua the Messiah" (1 Cor. 1:8). He who calls you is forever faithful; He will surely do it (1 Thess. 5:24). Yea, "the Lord is faithful (נֶאֱמָן הוּא): He will establish you and guard you against the evil one" (2 Thess. 3:3). The Spirit says, "Fear not, for I AM with you always."
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